The birth of their son Miles Conder in 1975 was the next big event in the lives of Howard and his first wife Annette.

This event brought great joy to the family and for the first few years, it was so lovely to have a girl and a boy in the Conder family.

Howard Conder’s son Miles and daughter Charlotte Conder

Howard says it is very hard for him to talk about his first marriage and the fallout and split that was caused which was devastating for the two children Charlotte and Miles.

There was a time in the early ’80s when Howard was remarried that he wrote a letter to Annette his first wife and said how sorry he was for causing such pain to her and subsequently also to their children. Howard remembers clearly that Annette wrote back and was so gracious and said that “it wasn’t all your fault Howard”. Those words were such a comfort to Howard but sadly his daughter Charlotte whom he cherished as his “little girl”, was lost forever. Charlotte has not been able to be at peace with her parent’s divorce and sadly is not in contact with Howard as Charlotte’s husband wrote a very harsh letter to him which is best not to mention at this point as it’s too painful for the family and there is always hope of reconciliation.

Howard said that when the Conder family came back from living in America, he was in the Cornerstone Church worship team in Esher and it was during a time of Praise and Worship that the Lord said to Howard, leave immediately and go to see your estranged daughter Charlotte who lived nearby. 

Without hesitation, Howard sneaked out of the church service and knocked on her front door and being a Sunday morning, Charlotte opened her bedroom window from the first floor and looking down at her dad she said, “Oh it’s you” and then told Howard to go away. 

As Howard was walking away, he said to the Lord “please don’t hold this against her, I understand how she feels” and the Lord said, “I am going to give you another daughter”. 

Howard returned to the church until the service was concluded and he did not say a word to anyone including his wife, Lesley. 

About 4 to 6 weeks later Lesley said to Howard that she wasn’t feeling very well, and Howard blurted out “you are pregnant”.  Lesley said you know I can’t be pregnant and then Howard explained the whole episode of what happened the day he went to see Charlotte.

Low and behold it was confirmed that Lesley was pregnant and just as the Lord had said, it was to be a baby girl and they named her Bethany.

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